youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
