So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
