i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize