is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
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