Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize