i was born a porn star she said
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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