I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
