One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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