he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
You brought string cheese to the strip club
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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