If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
