woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
