did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
