I'd wear matching sweaters with you
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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