3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize