omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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