i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
