I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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