guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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