He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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