he puts the penis in happiness.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
