For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
