i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize
