Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
