That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
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