you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
