Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
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