hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize