There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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