yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
