She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Randomize
