I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
never play flip cup with pint glasses
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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