They should really pass out barf bags in church
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
