1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Randomize
