Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Randomize
