I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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