k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
