that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
