Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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