I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize