soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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