You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
