I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
