i just google imaged poop.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Randomize
