told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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