Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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