i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
