I murdered the dance floor call the cops
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
