My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I didn't notice because vodka
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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