he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
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