Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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