watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Randomize
