P.S. I can't hear my feet
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
it's like heaven, but drunker
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
