i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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