u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
