My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
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