Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Your penis caused this!
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
