I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
