he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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