So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
okay pat passed out under dana's car
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Randomize
