I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
