So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
