Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Randomize