So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
