we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize