Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize
