I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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