i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
