What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Randomize
