and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize