I think I died a long time ago.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
We have started to decorate penises.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
