I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
