so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
This gyro tastes like lonliness
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Randomize
