Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
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