Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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