in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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