When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
