Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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