I'm really into asian looking animals
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Is it because I queefed?
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
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