There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
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