she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I'm too high and old for this...
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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