My hair reeks of homosexuality.
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
